Maybe I shouldn't write this but I guess I am anyway..... I love adoption, I really really do, but it also can be really hard too. For the last month, we've known there was the possibility of us adopting a baby boy. Without going into details, the couple had some very unexpected and terribly sad events happen and in the end, they decided against adoption. It's interesting how you can love people that you barely know. I can't imagine how difficult this situation has been for this young couple and I truely hope that everything works out for them.
It was really hard to know how much to emotionally invest into hoping and planning for a new little baby. And, as much as we tried to stay as realstic as we could, it was still really hard when it didn't happen. I put on a happy face and act like it's not that big of a deal because that's how most people treat it. Like it's a job that we didn't get or something. And, I just want to be real. That's all. It's hard and it hurts.
Just because we love adoption and know it's right doesn't make the pain of infertility go away. There are so many up's and down's and sometimes I envy how people just seem to snap their fingers and 9 months later out comes a baby. I know it's not that easy but it feels like that sometimes. But, I know that all the pain along the way will eventually lead to another wonderful adoption and it will be worth it. I would go through it all over and over again just for Noah. He is the best and I wouldn't trade him for a million pregnancies. I think we are more patient and enjoy Noah more because it was long and hard to get him here and I am really grateful for that. So, today it is hard but another day it will turn into beyond worth it. I'm excited for that day.
12 comments:
Ang, I'm so sorry things didn't work out and I'm so sorry you guys have no control over any of the roller coaster of adoption and infertility. Love you!
I can feel of your heartache in this post. I wish I could snap my fingers for you to make things better. One day I can't wait to read a post about Noah's sibling too.
We are so sorry to hear things didn't work out. We're were really praying that it would. Love you guys!
I love you... if you need ever need a break or a diet coke or someone to call and cry to... CALL ME! I love you and you are stronger than you know!!!!
It's ok for it to be hard. If you had a miscarriage you would sit down and have a good cry. I'm so sorry it didn't work out. Keep trusting in the Lord and things will work out as they should.
I love ya Ang!
I love your honesty and how you share those real feelings. I truly believe you help others through your sharing. Thanks for your beautiful example. We need to get together and get our boys together. :)
I'm sorry things didn't work out! I had no idea. I was telling Steve not too long ago how much I admire youguys for jumping on board and doing all of it! I can only imagine how hard it would be. YOu never know what the future holds. How about lunch? I would love to go!
Ang I love you! it was so fun to randomly run into you at Target. I'm so amazed with the strength that you face this incredibly hard beyond belief trial. I'm so sorry I didn't call before, and I'm sad now that I missed your call while we were gone. You are an amazing mom and I hope and pray that another child will come into your lives soon. Let's get together ok? Porter kept asking after you left when we could play or go to chick fil a again. Call me!
Jon and Ange, I'm so sorry it didn't work out. I had no idea and feel bad about that. Recently something didn't work out for us and when I went visiting teaching with my partner (the bishops wife) she told me that it just means whatever is "meant to be" is CLOSE! She is an amazing woman and so very inspired, her and her husband both! I truly believe that (in our situation) and I believe that for your family! Hang in there and you are allowed to have hard days and you're right, it will be worth it! love you all!
I'm so sorry to hear this. Truly. I can imagine that just like with an unexpected loss of a pregnancy, unexpectedly losing a potential adoption would be equally devastating. Give that Noah a big hug from me, he's the cutest!!
Your strength is an example to me and a close friend of mine with whom I've vaguely shared your experience of adopting Noah. She has also had infertility struggles and dealt with the roller coaster of adoption. Your story gave her hope. I like to imagine that Grandma is in heaven hanging out with yours and my kids until we get to raise them here. Maybe that's far-fetched, but I find comfort in it. :)
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